its not a friday night, and im not on this blog...we're all just hallucinating...

yeah so im back again.
i keep taking these mini-breaks from this blog. i like to call them 'sanity days', but you should feel under no obligation to do the same.

i am painfully aware of how much you all miss me when im absent. however, think for a second about the mammoth effort i put in for you, my devotees. i just keep on giving, but what do i get in return? where is the deluge of fanmail, the kind words of encouragement? nowhere to be found! the only thing here is the substantial amount of witty banter that i am constantly bestowing upon you all. ok, ok..."witty" might be a stretch, but surely its at least mildly humorous....faintly amusing? no? ergh, cant you at least send me something out of pity then? ill take it!!
..i mean, or whatever. its not like im desperate or anything *coughs*

muhaha. pushing all that under the rug for now, i have been made aware of yet another blog reader. thats right folks, the tally is up to 4. FOUR. yeah, how many people can claim that? or even better yet, how many could make that claim proudly, without embarassment? yes sir, i am a rarity in this world. part of a dying breed.

now for a little tidbit about my evening (notice how i strategically include very little actual info about myself, or my life. that takes talent u know). In any case, tonight i went to see a film for the first time in ages, although my viewing experience came precariouly close to being ruined by a substandard audience. we've all experienced the normal theatrical annoyances; but those have evolved into just another part of the overall moviegoing experience. however, the incessant chit chating, in outdoor voices no less, still irks me. tonight is was coooonnnssstaaant. so much so that i felt compelled to write the word 'constant' in that lame, multiple lettered way. and thats sad. so, so sad.

the worst had to be this gentleman to the back of me, who felt obligated to explain every even remotely abstract concept of the film to his wife. "see, the film is meant to be seen through the point of view of the daughter." wow, thank goodness he explained that one, because im sure she couldnt have figured it out based on that character's constant VOICE OVER NARRATION. Fn-aah.

hey...wow!! that was my first rant on this thing. did i sound ferociously evil? muhaha. actually, im generally very understanding of things, but even i am allowed to be annoyed now and then, right? RIGHT?

ah, who cares anyway. my name is monkeytron, and u know what that means? it means i can do whatever i like on this blog, so just deal with it.



goodnight, you princes of blogger, you kings of the internet.

there once was a girl named monkeytron, who...wait what rhymes with 'monkeytron'?

why are my posts always short?
id be tempted to describe them as chronically, NOTORIOUSLY short. is it just that i have nothing of value to say? no, thats never stopped me before...conceivably i am simply not experiencing the correct level of intimacy with you all. perhaps someday i'll feel comfortable sharing my innermost thoughts and dreams with you. aww, GROUP HUG!

actually, im not concerned in the least. i just enjoy going all 'dr. phil' on your ass. its my little way of shakin things up, throwin y'all off guard. shake n' bake baby! hoo yeah.
I dont believe i just said "y'all". even if it was in jest, i am ferociously ashamed.

so on with the post, which needs to be long enough to prove that i do not have a short attention span. but the again, why screw with tradition? if it aint broke dont fix it. dont cry over spilt milk. a bird in the hand....ok, now im just trying to cover up my laziness by throwing around old proverbs, (in a confetti-tossing fashion).

agghhh i told you i felt strange today. why didnt you believe me? WHY OH WHY?
i think the time change has caused some alteration in my system, resulting in fatigue related insanity. yep. thats my excuse for now at least. oh yeah, i should mention that just today i discovered that (barring rain delay) easter is scheduled for this sunday. and here i was still wishing people a merry x-mas. why didnt anyone here tell me? you sly devils you.

so i think this post needs to end. thats my executive decision. im putting a stop to this flagrant display of utter randomness. of course, the only way to accomplish this is by creating the most illogical statement of all:

HOLY MILLARD FILLMORE, BATMAN! SHBANG!

ahh, i needed that....

im here, im weird, get used to it.

ahhhhhhhhh today i feel very odd. im tempted to call it nervousness, though i have no real justification for it. maybe my psychic powers are predicting some terrible fate. the future is unstable, destiny is in my hands. whats that lassie? timmy's stuck in the well??

or maybe im just tired. who can tell anymore? clairvoyance, exhaustion, its all the same to me.

so back to the relative normality that is my everyday life. what do you mean thats boring? what do you know about my life? maybe all of this in an elaborate ruse to distract you from my true identity.
thats right i am a superhero.
mistress of the night, dark defender of virtue.
I am The Miscellaneous Monkey.

so there.
who's boring now suckas??

advice from Dr. Monkeytron, love doctor

failing in romance? try this fancy pickup line. its sure to please.

do you have overdue library books? because youve got FINE written all over you.


hope this helps.
Dr. M, phd

IM BACK! ...and u all thought i was dead....

MUHAHAHA
you thought that i had given up on yet another blog. i know you did! but here i am, in the flesh (in the font?), to prove all you nay sayers wrong.
no, i haven't abandoned my followers, my fans or my blog. this darn blog. why, it seems that ive even grown accustomed to its layout! it almost makes the day begin, i was serenely independent and content before we met, surely i could always be that way again and yet, ive grown accustomed to the orange, accustomed to the font,
accustomed to its layout *cue sobbing audience*

ok so, it seems i just did some sort of pastiche of my fair lady...im not even a fan of the movie, or audrey hepburn's non-singing (her songs were dubbed u know. i told that to some guy on icq once, and it CRUSHED HIS WORLD. no lie. thats sad in so many ways, isnt it?) so i guess ive just proven to you all what a monstrous nerd i am. oh well, u can all bite me if u dont like it.

on a happier and somewhat less nerdy note, while the blog was in utter disarray when i left, i have fixed it. its lurvely again (as lurvely as bright orange and white can be. it looks like an intensely unappetizing creamsicle. oh hey! im back to hating my layout. ahh i feel like my old self again). on a completely random note, i just looked the word 'nerd' up in the thesaurus. it lists 'geek' (ok, i can see that), 'bore' (hey now, thats not nice), and....DRIP!? wow, i take that as a personal affront. see if i ever use that bastard thesaurus again. (course, i never really did anyway, but thats not the point).

ok yes i swore again SORRY. cover your ears (eyes) next time kiddies. we know that my site is all the rage with the youth of america, and we certainly dont want them corrupted by mild profanity now do we? haha thats just a joke. we all know my blog isnt popular with anyone. except for me that is.
(which incidentally makes my constant use of the pronoun 'we' very freakish indeed)...

well anyway, i actually have proof that three people, other than myself, have visited and read my blog. THREE. 3. Trois. Tres. HELL YEAH! you like me you really like me! id like to thank all the little people that made this possible. you know who you are! thank you!

oh wank...its time for class already, and i havent even said a word about anything i did during my hiatus! (not that you care, but it makes me feel like ive put some effort into this stupid thing)...

well, another day, another time, another herne...

(¡VIVA EL NERDPOWER)